A rejection is just one "no"

I’ve had nothing but rejections lately. A story I wrote and am submitting is receiving good feedback but then “it’s just not for us.” At times like these, I remind myself that is takes 5-20 rejections (or more!) to get one acceptance. (I’ve kept records on this and asked other writers and these are the numbers I’ve discovered.)

So, if I know I have to endure as many as 19 rejections to get one acceptance, why does it still feel hard?

I notice that when I receive a rejection I expand its meaning. Rather than just one “no” to one offer of my writing the “no” transforms into “you’re a sucky writer who will never get anywhere.”

I notice that when I get accepted, I expand the meaning of that too. Rather than just one “yes” to one piece of work, an acceptance transforms into: “I’m okay… maybe even better than everyone else.”

So, rejection or acceptance, I make it into more than it actually is.

What if I had the attitude that I was a good writer destined for great things no matter the “no” or “yes” that one piece of writing has just received?

I’d actually stay more focused on writing and submitting. The one “no” or “yes” wouldn’t tie up so much energy.

How do you deal with rejection? Does it ever feel like this? What have you discovered lately about how to handle rejection?