Before stepping onto a stage, whether it’s in person or on Zoom, many speakers face a quiet decision:
Do I mingle with the crowd, or do I take a moment alone?
There’s plenty of advice out there suggesting you should chat with the audience ahead of time. Shake hands. Make conversation. Break the ice. And for some people, that works beautifully. It helps them settle in and connect before they ever say a word from the stage.
But for others, it has the opposite effect. The extra interaction adds pressure. It pulls them out of the focus they’ve been working to build.
One Size Does Not Fit All
Some of the clearest, most powerful speakers I’ve worked with are true introverts. They prepare backstage or in a quiet corner with a few deep breaths and a moment of stillness. That pause brings them back to center.
Others thrive on the energy of the room. Talking to attendees before a presentation gets them excited and ready to go.
The key is knowing yourself. The goal isn’t to follow someone else’s formula. It’s to find the rhythm that helps you show up with presence.
Presence Starts Before You Speak
I’ve worked with a few leaders who feel guilty for not wanting to make small talk before a big presentation. They’ll say, “Am I supposed to be working the room?” or “Does it make me seem aloof if I keep to myself?”
Here’s what I tell them: you don’t need to be “on” before you’re ready. You need to care for the part of you that’s getting ready to share something meaningful.
Ask yourself:
What do I need in these last few minutes to feel grounded and prepared?
The answer might be a hallway conversation. It might be silence. It might be standing by yourself in the restroom and saying your first sentence out loud.
There’s no wrong way to begin. There’s only the way that brings you back to yourself.
Don’t Forget
Whether you’re a talker or a quiet preparer, what matters most is showing up as the most centered version of you. The energy you carry before you speak will shape how your message is received.
So take the pause. Or take the conversation. Or a little of each — ending with a moment for you to focus.
When the moment comes to speak, step forward with intention. The more grounded you feel, the more grounded your audience will be. That connection starts with you.
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