Many years ago, I was presenting at Powell’s Books in Portland, Oregon, to a standing-room-only crowd when it came time for the Q&A. “Any questions?” I asked and one hand shot up in the front row. The questioner launched into a rambling story peppered with complaints. The “question” wasn’t a question but a runaway train. Uh oh, I thought.
What do you do when you must interrupt?
I waited until I heard a slight pause and then, I swooped in, politely interrupted them, thanked them for the comment, built a brief lesson around one aspect of their story and then said, “Who else has questions?” I didn't shame them and I did it all with a light touch.
It was a smooth move, if I do say so myself!
Is interrupting good or bad?
Interrupting gets a bad rap because many of us were raised with the lesson that “you should never interrupt.” This isn’t true. In fact, sometimes it's necessary for leaders to interrupt, like in my example. When you're giving a talk or moderating a panel discussion you often need to steer the conversation, which will likely involve interrupting.
You’re not interrupting!
You’re steering the conversation.
When you’re leading a question and answer (or moderating a panel), you’ll sometimes need to interrupt the questioners or panel members. It’s like you're the conductor and sometimes you need to quell the tuba and encourage the flutes.
As a bicoastal person—I grew up on the East Coast but spent most of my adult life on the West Coast—I’ve noticed that New Yorkers (and other East Coasters) seem to interrupt with more ease than their West Coast counterparts. We don’t barge in with a totally off-topic comment but we “build on” what the other person is saying. It’s how we talk and it can lead to spirited conversations.
Learning to interrupt is a skill that you need to learn as a leader because it’s your job to keep control and steer the questions and the answers so it’s not a free-for-all. If you didn’t grow up interrupting and it makes you nervous, remember that interrupting is like merging into traffic. The first step is to get up to speed with the other cars and the second step is to wait for an opening and take it.
What? You might be thinking especially if, like many of us, you grew up with the lesson that you should never interrupt. That’s not true. It’s necessary and it’s possible to do it politely. You get up to speed and wait and when you hear the slightest pause—it could be a short breath— that’s your cue to interject.
It helps to have a phrase at the ready as you merge into the speeding highway of a nonstop talker. These phrases help:
“Interesting comment. To build on that…”
“That reminds me of an important lesson…”
“Good point and makes me think of…”
“I’m going to stop you because I have to ask…”
“Is there a question in there?”
You can always blame the time limit: “I want to make sure we have time for more questions so we’re going to move on. Next question!”
If they’re bringing up something that needs to be discussed, say, “Great point. We'll need to schedule another forum to discuss that topic. Next question!”
Practice using these or your own phrases in your rehearsal. And remember that it’s better to risk interrupting one person than ruining the whole Q+A for everyone else attending. Your job is to make sure the group gets what they need, not serve the one rambler.
Of course, there will be exceptions. But you know that and you’ll adjust accordingly. And if you make a mistake, you’ll learn from it and move on. That’s how life works.
Learn from a Pro
The benefits of interrupting became clear to me recently when I sat down with podcast guest, Bradley Tusk. Tusk is a VC investor, philanthropist and political strategist and an expert interrupter. I like to call him "the interrupter who helps disrupters" because of his work with start-ups.
When you listen or watch the podcast, notice how the more we talk, the more we interrupt each other. And then we even talk about interrupting — which is something that I experience more on the East Coast than I do after 30 years of living on the West Coast. As a former New Yorker, I can't help but finish your sentences! (I really don't do this anymore... only when I'm with other New Yorkers.)
In our conversation you'll learn:
Why you need to “get up to speed” in the conversation if you want to interrupt with finesse.
How to tell the difference between good interrupting and rude interrupting.
How to “build” on what the other person says to spark an even better conversation.
Meet Bradley Tusk and learn "How to Pitch Your Big Idea to the World"
Besides interrupting each other on my latest podcast, Bradley and I also dive into:
What makes a pitch irresistible.
Why plain, simple language grabs your audience (and why big words don’t).
How being vulnerable is the ultimate expression of confidence.
... And more on his latest book Vote With Your Phone: Why Mobile Voting Is Our Final Shot at Saving Democracy.